PMDD and how it lead me to a Menopause in my 30's
When I was given the option of going into a chemical menopause to help diagnose and manage my PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), I felt totally confused. So many people had told me horror stories about menopause, how awful it was, how it would ruin my life. I was in my 30s, and the idea of starting menopause early felt strange. No one ever tells you the pros, do they? Just the bad stuff.
And don’t get me wrong, menopause isn’t a party. But for me? It’s been far more bearable than PMDD ever was.
Making the Decision: Chemical Menopause
My first chemical menopause began in 2023. It was a snap decision. I was at rock bottom, broken and not myself. When the doctor suggested it to confirm if what I had really was PMDD, I just said, “F**k it! Let’s go!”
A few days after the injection, I started telling people what I’d done and I was hit with their reactions and opinions. “Why would you do that?”, “Menopause is the worst!”, “Is it even going to help?”
I started to doubt myself. Had I made it worse? Was this really going to give me the answers I needed?
But in the first three months, I knew: this was the best thing I could have done.(Read more about this in my other PMDD blogs if you're curious.)
Fast-Forward: 18 Months Later
After 18 months of navigating chemical menopause, HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), doctors, and chaos, I was offered a hysterectomy. And again, people's opinions came to the surface.“You’ll struggle even more after that!", “Menopause is so hard!”, But I kept thinking; if I didn’t have my own hormones fighting the HRT, wouldn’t that be easier? My brain could cope with the steadiness of hormones just not the influxes.
Eight months post-hysterectomy, I can honestly say: There are more pros than cons.So here’s a list that lays it all out. Because honestly? Menopause, via chemical induction and then surgical menopause, gave me my life back.
PMDD vs Menopause: The Pros (Yes, There Are Some!)
No perimenopause: I didn’t have that confusing lead-up or any slow build, just a full leap.
No periods: None. No tracking, no wondering if this month is “the one” where they stop. Just... freedom. Plus no wondering if this is the month I’m going to crack being positive.
No mood crashes: The overwhelming highs and devastating lows are gone. I don’t have days or weeks where I can’t get out of bed or even shower.
No more suicidal thoughts: This one is big. I don’t feel like the world would be better without me anymore. I don’t want to hurt myself anymore either.
Anxiety is way down: I still get it now and again, maybe 10% of anxiety, its hardly there. During PMDD, it was at 200% most days, it could get worse through out the day and week.
Emotional stability: I’m way more balanced throughout the day. Fewer tears. Less rage. It’s calmer inside my head.
Anger? Tamed: I can still snap, but it’s a lot harder to push me there.
No more smear tests: Thanks, hysterectomy. I’ll take the small wins.
More energy: I can walk the dogs, clean the house, I can do life again.
More confidence: Without the hormone rollercoaster, I can actually see myself again and be happy with who I am.
Independence: I drove to Norfolk on holiday, on my own, with my dogs! Sat nav went weird and I didn’t even panic. Massive win. I even travel to London solo now. Getting on trains was a huge thing for me. Now I don’t even think about it.
Mental clarity: I no longer battle with this cycle, hitting a good week and forgetting how bad things can be. Then hitting a bad week and wondering why I can’t be happy anymore. I don’t feel like I’m losing my mind every cycle.
Improved sleep: While menopause still messes with sleep, it’s nothing compared to PMDD insomnia.
The Cons (Because It’s Not All Sunshine)
Chemical menopause was intense: My hot flushes were wild. Symptoms felt harsher than what others described.
I miss the high: In PMDD, I had one amazing week where I felt invincible. That’s gone now and I’m just steady which really is a good thing. But sometimes that good week, I would eat clean, exercise, have a clean house, have it all.
HRT is forever: Managing it daily gets old, but it’s part of the journey.
No more “get out of life” cards: I chuckle as I write this “Sorry, PMDD’s really bad this week” isn’t an excuse anymore. Now I just say, “Nah, I don’t fancy it.”
PMDD seems a distant memory.
I watched a Reel from Vicky Pattison the other day, and it hit me like a brick. Her words brought it all back. The pain, the confusion, the exhaustion. It made me ache; not just for me, but for everyone still living in that world of PMDD. I sometimes forget how bad it really was. It was like i didn't really live it. A hysterectomy, or a chemical menoapuse isnt an answer for a lot of people. I was so lucky, I had my kids in my early 20s, I have had the most helpful and supportive children and family. I’ve had a rock of a husband that has ridden every wave with me, through the lowest lowest of days and the highest highs. I was lucky I saw the right doctors and had private health care too. I really don’t know where I’d be without all of it. I am forever grateful. And if writing these blogs help even just 1 person feel less alone, or help the, see the positives that are out there. Then I can smile with that and its worth it.
PMDD or Menopause?
Menopause isn’t for everyone, and not every hysterectomy “fixes” PMDD. But for me, it was truly life changing.
If you’re struggling with PMDD, considering chemical menopause, or wondering what surgical menopause might be like, please reach out. Message me on Instagram, drop me an email. I’ll always share what I know, or just listen if you need to be heard.
We’re not meant to do this alone.
If you are struggling with menopause and need help these websites were really helpful for me. There are also really useful pages on Instagram too.
