Looking after Claire Post-Hysterectomy

A Husband’s Perspective of my wife's hysterectomy

When people ask me what it was like looking after Claire after her hysterectomy, I usually answer with words like exhausting, challenging, isolating, and stressful. But I also describe it as fulfilling, eye-opening, and deeply bonding. Seeing my wife go from relying on me for the smallest tasks to regaining independence was an emotional journey—one that tested us but also brought us closer together.

Before the Hysterectomy: Preparation and Anticipation

Before the surgery, Claire gave me a list of essentials: pyjama's, dressing gown, books, puzzles, and most importantly, snacks. It was my way of treating her before the tough days ahead.

I knew there would be jobs; kids to look after, dogs to walk, meals to prepare. But I underestimated just how much I’d have to take on. Claire, ever the planner, had written out a detailed timetable covering every task and responsibility. How hard could it be?

As the operation date approached, my feelings were a mix of nervousness and excitement. Claire was finally getting the treatment she needed to manage her PMDD, but the reality of surgery was daunting.

The Hysterectomy and Bringing Claire Home

I never told Claire how nervous I was. To me, there’s no such thing as a “small” operation when general anaesthetic is involved. What if something went wrong? How would I cope? What about the kids?

So, I did what any husband would do—kept my mouth shut and reassured her that everything would be fine.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 AM. Hours passed. We sat. We waited. More waiting. Her surgery wasn’t until midday, so we had four hours of watching The Simpsons on E4.

When the time came, the nurses led Claire away. Watching her walk off was tough, but I knew she was in good hands. To distract myself, I checked on the kids, grabbed some food (hello, KFC), and updated her family.

By the time I returned, Claire was already back in the room. She was groggy from the anaesthetic , and the nurses were encouraging her to eat and drink. One problem—her body wasn’t quite ready. First time I’d seen her throw up in ten years. That was fun.

Visiting hours ended soon after, so I had to leave, reassured that she was okay. That was all that mattered.

The First 48 Hours: Reality Hits

The next day, Claire was more mobile. The catheter was removed, which meant one thing. I had to help her to the toilet. Holding her up, supporting her as she sat down, and listening to the splish splash of it all was a new level of intimacy!

Something else I learned quickly? Don’t make her laugh. My default coping mechanism is humour, but stitches and laughter don’t mix.

That evening, she was discharged. I avoided every pothole on the drive home, but somehow, there seemed to be extra that night. Once home, I helped her upstairs, carefully guiding her into bed.

By day two, it was time for her first post-op shower. Helping her step into the bath, I stood there—cold, naked, and shivering—while she stood under warm water, ensuring she didn’t fall. A husband’s job is never done!

The First Few Weeks: Recovery, Hormones & Sleepless Nights

We had stocked up on books, puzzles, and TV shows for her recovery, but in the first few weeks, she wasn’t interested in any of it. Between pain, discomfort, and medication, concentration was impossible.

Her sleep was erratic—daytime naps, late-night binges of The Big Bang Theory, and me falling asleep to the sound of Sheldon Cooper’s voice. When I wasn’t tending to Claire, I was juggling work, kids, dogs, and household chores.

Ten days post-op, it was time to remove her bandages. Standing in the shower, we carefully peeled them off, revealing four small but healing wounds. Claire struggled emotionally with seeing her body change, but I reassured her—scars or not, she was still the woman I loved.

One of the hardest parts? The blood-thinning injections. For ten days, I had to give Claire daily stomach injections—right next to her surgical wounds. It was painful for her, and gut-wrenching for me. If we ever go through this again, I’ll definitely ask if there’s another option.

Then came the day I returned to work. As much as I craved normality, I was nervous leaving Claire. The kids were on half-term break, but if you’ve met teenagers, you know they don’t always help in the way you’d like.

One Month Post-Op: Setbacks & Progress

Just as we thought things were improving, Claire developed a UTI. Round one of antibiotics didn’t work. Round two? Still no improvement. One morning, she called me at work—feverish, in pain, and unsure what to do.

After consulting her friend, she went to the GP, who sent her straight to A&E. I rushed home to find Claire barely conscious and burning up. Another long wait in the hospital confirmed a more severe infection, requiring strong antibiotics.

A few days later, she turned a corner. We started taking short walks—first to the garden, then to the end of the road, and eventually out for dinner. The best part? No more PMDD. No mood swings. No emotional crashes. It was the light at the end of a very long tunnel.

Four Months Later: A New Normal (I think this is now menopause life!)

Taking care of Claire post-hysterectomy was, in many ways, the easy part. What I wasn’t prepared for was managing everything else—kids, dogs, work, and the sheer exhaustion of it all.

But now, four months on, life has never been better. Our relationship feels like it did before PMDD took over. Claire is happier, more stable, and free from the emotional rollercoaster that controlled her for so long. The intimacy we lost to mood swings has returned.

There are still adjustments—like keeping the heating just above freezing because hot flushes are brutal—but those are small sacrifices for a better life together.

This journey wasn’t just about Claire’s recovery—it was about rediscovering each other. And now, after months of ups and downs, I finally have my wife back. Life is good.

Final Thoughts: Advice for Partners

If you’re supporting someone through a hysterectomy, here’s my advice:

• Be patient. Recovery takes time—emotionally and physically.

• Be present. Even when you feel useless, just being there matters.

• Prepare for setbacks. Healing isn’t linear.

• Ask for help. Whether it’s family, friends, or professionals, don’t do it alone.

• Learn about menopause. If your partner is having a full hysterectomy, surgical menopause is immediate and intense.

It’s not an easy journey, but it’s worth it. And trust me—when you finally see your partner smiling again, free from pain and PMDD, you’ll know it was all worth it.